halcha 101, shareeah 101 by me 7/7/2008

When I was studying in the States, I had my Palestinian friends choose to settle in the States and some of them by now got married to Americans. I remember being unable to reconcile letting go of one’s own country, mother tongue and people. I chose to return to Israel and by so doing, hoping to find the answer to the question, “Can I stay here? How is it that others are leaving?” My last shabbot dinner at a professor's house who taught me my first year in Beer Sheva seemed to offer the long sought answer.

The directions I was emailed were for someone who was walking to my professor's house and not driving. He lived behind a synagogue. The result was that I got lost in a religious neighborhood, asking about the synagogue by the name Kipa. Apparently, there were many synanogues in that neighborhood and subsequently, on the evening of Friday, there were many religious people walking to the synagogue. I asked for directions to the synagogue. One of the most interesting and yet least helpful comments was said by a man that peaked into my car through the car window and said in Hebrew, “Lady, when it is shabbat evening, you don’t stop religious men and ask them how to get to a synagogue.” Why not? I thought. It only made sense, who else would know how to get to the synagogue- the liberal neighbors that don’t live in the religious neighborhood?

Eventually, after discovering a few more synagogues and hearing more comments that were interesting but not helpful, an American Jewish lady recognized the name of the American professor and his wife and showed me how to get to their house. Was it okay to be 30 minutes late to a shabbot meal? I have learned that there are many synagogues, mosques and churches in those two countries or one country or country and a half. But, I have one life to live, against years of traditions and stone buildings that outlive me. Perhaps the religious man was right- one does not ask him about how to get to a synagogue on motsey shabbat, neither does one ask one's traditions, mosques, churches and religions how to get to live life.

Maybe halacha and shareea only belong to the religious people of this country, or country and a half, or two countries, after all.

Is that why my friends did not come back from the States?