A letter to a T cell by me

This letter is from an MS patient to her T-cells in the immune system.

Dear my T-cells,

Medicine seems to be at a loss, filling each moment of unknown with yet again another theory, yet to be proven, and then handed down to the unbelievers among the patients. I, too, have taken to books, journal and randomized control trials to find the answer to my question: why me? The doctors explained to me that the reasons for your behavior is not completely understood- perhaps an aggravation by an infection, or moved from one side of the globe to the other. I was labeled like a food product is labeled in a factory, and sent home with beta-interferon weekly injections, and for discount, I could also get corticosteroids. The trial was over, and I, and you, were found guilty: the medical verdict was Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Next.

Next was a woman in her mid twenties. The pap smear cytology showed abnormal cells, and the jury met to decide on the next tests to be done. The woman’s fear was cervical cancer due to HPV, a sexually transmitted disease.

Oy, but then again, life is not fair, I thought. I would rather be an oncology patient than a neurology patient! At least with cancer there is home for treatment, and there is so much research going on to fight that disease. And for the most part, maybe even at the beginning, it does not affect things people can see, deal with or live with- such as speech, walking, sensation, vision, hearing, balance and so on.

Another accused was waiting for me outside of the court- we both are neurology patients, constantly looking over our shoulders at those cancer patients. What do THEY have to complain about? We both say to each other. We would switch places in a heart beat. My friend has spinal muscular atrophy type three, which is the mild type but still affects her movement, speech, swallowing, walking.

One of the many books on the subject of MS conjures that T-cells become sensitized to the myelin sheaths in the central nervous system. They are able to cross the blood brain barrier that is only crossed by very nutrients and immune cells and attack the nervous tissue in the central nervous system. The disease has many faces- one where the body’s function is completely lost, one where the function is slowly lost over time. The body sometimes recovers from each attack. Sometimes it goes back to it basal function and sometimes it loses a bit of its function The loss of function in medical books has meant losing my ability to dance. With that came the loss of my friends who also dance. Another theory that has not made it into medical student’s textbooks about why you, my dear T cells decide to cross the uncross able blood brain barrier and attack the myelin sheaths, is food. (Medicine eloquently calls it nutrition). The theory says that you, my dear T cells, are too sensitive to handle certain proteins that come through the food in the intestine (gut). And, you seem to take out this intolerance on other proteins in the body, and it so happens, that since skin color is universal, so is protein structure. You don’t seem to be able to differentiate between the protein in the food and that in the body.

Perhaps you also carry the same lineage as the body of the person you live in: you are Palestinian. Palestinians are sensitive against any kind of barrier (Politics calls it checkpoints, walls, blocks). Like you, my dear T-cells, some Palestinians take out their intolerance on other people in the land, and so it happens that since skin color is universal so is hate.

My dear T-cells, I pass to you a pearl of wisdom encoded in your and my genes, and in the literature of sayings and stories: for everything there is a season under the sun, and wise is the man, woman and cell that recognize when it is time to belong, and when it is time to fight, when it is time to respect barriers, and when it is time to tear them down, when it is time that all skin color is universal, and then it is that protein structure is unique and different.

My dear T cells, are you able to create a dynamic balance between what you are sensitive against, where you should cross, and when. Perhaps then, in this dynamic equilibrium within the biologic and diplomatic immunity of the body, you can regain your steps, and I, too, will be able to dance again.

Sincerely, The person in whose body you live and make it also possible to live.